I don’t know if this comes as good news or bad news, but as the parent of an almost 9 year old and, shocking for me, an already 12 year old, I can comfortably say the process that starts with picking your first caregiver, day care or preschool continues on a similar theme for many years. The mental list of what’s best for your child, your family and your bank account gets revisited time and time again with every program, summer camp and public or private school decision.

Michelle LaFollette, director and owner of Wren’s Nest Preschool, a Montessori in-home preschool for 20month olds to 5 year olds just a few blocks away from the Swap Shop on Yamhill, has an almost kindergartener and a middle schooler of her own. If Michelle and I could somehow transfer all our observations and knowledge from a decade of placing our own kids in schools and from touring parents through the programs we’ve created, what an email post this would be!

Or would it? Walking that path from holding our babes in our arms to attending graduation ceremonies raises up adults as much as the journey helps our children grow. We learn as much about ourselves as we do about our kids picking places to give our support and energy to over the years.

Other than saying – go with your gut instincts – I wouldn’t for one minute want to get in the middle of telling you what schools or programs are best or try to suggest the best way to evaluate the next caregiver for your child. I can tell you that every Montessori teacher that I have ever known has a calmness and a lively spirit about them that allows for inspirational learning day after day.

Also, there is something developmentally magical about those trays full of natural materials presented with awe and wonder to tiny bodies and little busy minds inspiring even the youngest toddler to give up their crash and thrash tendencies while they take out a little rug to sit on and patiently sort buttons.

Michelle and I both come from Silicon Valley and can laugh while sharing a cup of coffee in her livingroom turned classroom about 2 hour commutes (each way) and high strung parents with big agendas for their offspring. In part as a retreat from that lifestyle but also in response to the way SE Portland lives are shaped, Michelle has set up Wren’s Nest Preschool with a couple of unique features not usually found in a preschool or a daycare. Preschools tend to take the summers off. Wren’s Nest is a haven for children all year round. Day cares are open from the early hours until just before dinner time. Wren’s Nest families arrive between 8:30 and 9 and every child is back with their family by 4pm.

The very best part news for parents of toddlers reading this post: most preschools require children to be potty trained and at least three years old. Michelle’s youngest learners are not yet two and potty training is not a requirement to attend.

Before you pick up the phone to see what days she has available for your not-yet or just-barely two-year-old, I can tell you what you might already imagine, spots for toddlers are popular and go quickly. She already has a full toddler program for the summer and fall. Rather than keep a waiting list she just asks that you check in with her now and again for openings.

If you have been wondering what your three year old is ready for, Michelle opened Wren’s Nest almost three years ago and her first set of toddlers are now moving on to kindergarten leaving 9 open spaces for new 3 to 5 year olds. Jed Arkley’s daughter is one of those first students to go all three years at Wren’s Nest. I got a chance to ask him . . . why Montessori and why Wren’s Nest?

He looked at a lot of different schools and found Michelle’s program more affordable than some of the other Montessori schools he looked at. He loved the intimate setting with less than 10 kids together in the toddler or 3-4 classrooms and he loves the community building that happens along with academics matching each child’s true interests and readiness.

If you haven’t already gone through the sticker shock: preschool, day care or a nanny can sometimes feel like a second mortgage. I understand full time care hovers between $1,200 and $1,500 a month.

More like a college student’s rent than a mortgage: two mornings a week at Wren’s Nest for a toddler: $475. Full day, five days a week for a 3 ½ year old to 5 year old: $740.

While we can put a price on days of the week, we can’t put a price on the best parts of preschool . . . a break for parents, friends for our kids, and, in the case of Wren’s Nest, moments picking berries and tasting herbs in the back yard and a great Montessori classroom experience.

Just like at The Roost, the need for a place to be (for toddlers or teenagers) isn’t just about the parent’s work schedule but about some of the important work of childhood that gets done a bit away from home, in a place where parents aren’t near by, but caring adults are right there with subtle guidance and a calming way.

Wren’s Nest is a very low key place without a sign out front or even a web site. You can drive or walk by and see the front yard play area and families coming and going at 3815 SE Yamhill Street (last block of Yamhill before the Belmont Library). You can call or email Michelle at (503) 235-0093 or vassarlearningcenter©yahoo•com .

Contact info for all our other great community minded Roost sponsors on the
Roost sponsors page.

Administrator Don Snow and owner Chuck Lawrence of Lawrence Convalescent Center at 48th and Belmont have a great deal to share with us that can make a big difference in the quality of life for our families. Since most of us will be involved in just a handful of end of life care decisions for our parents, our partner’s parents and at some point our own care as well, it’s comforting to lean on the wisdom of two men who have dedicated a big part of their adult lives to helping families juggle the financial, physical and emotional challenges that aging brings.

A lot has changed over the years in end-of-life care. Hospice care is a relatively new concept and the more general nursing homes or rest homes that we may have visited to sing songs or deliver Valentines in our youth have been divided up in to more specific categories – skilled care, intermediate care, assisted living, residential care and adult foster care homes – each with their own types of care and associated costs. With all the options and some associated restrictions on what insurance policies and the state will and won’t cover, we aren’t just making one care placement decision but a whole series of them as strokes, dementia and other factors affect our parents.

Full convalescent care carries around a $70,000 a year price tag that drains family finances very quickly as Don well knows since Lawrence Convalescent Center accepts both private pay and Medicaid for residents. His biggest piece of advice financially to all of us is this: Don’t wait until a loved one is already in need of care to attempt to move assets between family members in preparation for applying for Medicaid. The state works very hard to find all available assets and will scrutinize finances in the years and months right before benefit applications very carefully.

As much as we’d all rather talk about the weather or our kids or anything else but delicate financial matters around the holiday table, I know I’ll be asking a for a few more details when I visit my parents in San Diego this Christmas and feel a lot better for it.

As some of us already know, there is big role reversal that happens in the parent child relationship in the later years. Suddenly the woman who used to ride you to eat your vegetables needs gentle and not so gentle prodding to eat well and keep on top of medications. You can find yourself very quickly in the position of trying to help figure what’s best, what’s needed and what’s missing in your parents lives and being a part of orchestrating their living situation in ways you never imagined.

Lawrence Convalescent Center is a small, family run intermediate care facility with 41 beds, locally owned, not part of a big corporation. Don, in his 15 years working in assisted care, 10 as an administrator, has worked both in places that are quite large and bustling with activity and places like Lawrence Convalescent Center that are small, quiet and serene.

While the average stay in a care facility is in the 2-3 year range, Chuck, Don and his staff can talk fondly about residents that lived in one care facility for 5,10, 15 and even 20 years. Don told me some really great, inspiring and sometimes surprising stories about what makes a great placement for adults in their later years.

One woman was quite upset when, at almost 105 and ten years into assisted care, her private pay funds were exhausted and she had had to move into a larger place that would take Medicaid. It didn’t take long for her and her family to discover that she had been a bit lonely at her quiet little private pay center. She found herself quite enlivened and invigorated by all activity at her new space.

Some of the larger, newer care facilities in our own neighborhood are more attractive to families initially as they look for the very best place for grandma or grandpa to be. Lawrence Convalescent Center, built in 1970 can, at first glance, seem by some to be too small and simple. Don knows that families that take the time to come in and speak with the staff often really like what they find. While large and busy is great for some residents, especially for dementia residents, small and quiet is exactly what’s needed. Don is glad that, as an administrator, he doesn’t have to push staff to stick to business only so they can get through every patient on a busy floor. Taking the time to talk with residents and listening to their stories in a small facility is often, for the staff, the very best part of the job.

They kept it simple but certainly not small as they served Thanksgiving dinner last Thursday afternoon to their residents and a large, joyful gathering of extended family members who live nearby and have been grateful to have the expertise of Lawrence Convalescent Center to lean on in the passing years.

Not just as a Roost business sponsor, but in many other ways as well, Chuck Lawrence is the antithesis of the corporate executive just looking at the bottom line. He’s a regular participant in the Sunnyside Neighborhood Association leading the crime prevention meetings and he has dedicated two Saturdays a month for years to graffiti removal in the neighborhood.

It only takes a minute to stop by the convalescent center for a visit. Gardening volunteers and people who want to volunteer with residents are always welcomed. While you are there, Chuck and his daughter Lisa, Don and his staff can give you great advice on services and resources that make some of the most challenging care decisions a lot more bearable.

Much thanks to you, Chuck and Don, for supporting The Roost for our neighborhood youth and for everything else you do to support community. Who knows, by putting a little money into The Roost, Chuck may very well be saving himself some money and time on his graffiti rounds as well. Time will tell.

The first thing I wanted to know was how he spends most of his time. What is the number one thing individual people and small businesses contact him to do?

VIRUSES: Virus clean-up on PCs tops the list. For PCs he’s been doing a lot of ad ware removal of those pesky pop up ads, especially the ones that insist you have lots of viruses and offer you a $49.99 dollar “solution.” Apple computers don’t share the same vulnerabilities to viruses as machines running Windows. For Macs, he’s been educating users in how to avoid the pop-up internet ads that aren’t actually damaging to Macs, but are still quite annoying.

UPGRADES: The second most common reason people contact a “computer guy” is for upgrading existing equipment. We all like to avoid dumping old equipment and purchasing new both for our pocketbook and for the environment. Not all of us have the time, patience or knowledge to weed through our various upgrade options.

WIRELESS These days, many folks are installing wireless in their homes – no longer is the computer tethered to the modem. Kick back on the couch and surf the internet. Scott can help you setup wireless so it’s convenient and easy to use, but still secure.

Scott is a great resource for figuring out what combination of adding memory or a larger hard drive and/or newer software will get your computer sped up and caught up to modern times – or at least fit for the kids – with some helpful advice on what to get next. Best of all, once you pick from all your options, he does the install of both hardware and software and you are on your way.

In the case of computers that are old enough that upgrading would really not be cost effective or realistic, he’ll tell you that too. If that’s the case, he’ll discuss options for replacement of the computer, along with transferring all of your old stuff to the new one, and disposing of the old one, including erasing the drive before it goes to recycling or donation.

DATA RECOVERY: When you absolutely have to have it back after it crashes . . . it’s nice to know you’ve done everything possible to find the data you can recover. Scott can also get you on a good back up system – hopefully before you ever have a problem.

HOW TO: We all learn differently. Scott’s 5 years on the help desk at Apple working with all levels of computer users from individuals calling in for help to service technicians out in the field and fellow apple employees too, has given him lots of experience walking people through various computer and internet access issues, navigating new (and old but underutilized) software and, basically, doing what it takes to create ease of use so you get the most out of your machine.

HOW MUCH WILL IT COST: The one thing that holds us all back from seeking any service whether it’s repairs for our cars, that first orthodontics visit or asking someone to come look at our computer is not knowing what the bill will be. Scott charges $80 an hour with a one hour minimum and caps out at 2 ½ hours in fees even if the job takes a bit longer so you know you won’t generally be paying more than $200 for his time.

Gift Certificates are also available and are at a discount through December. He also has prepaid service packages available, so computer support can be budgeted in advance (at a discount to normal pricing), avoiding unexpected hits to the pocketbook.

FREE HELP AND ADVICE: Some issues just aren’t big enough to warrant the cost of a service call and for that, you can be glad that TaborSpace opened up in our neighborhood this year. Scott holds community office hours every Wednesday and Saturdays 9-12am inside this cool little gathering place and coffee hot spot inside Mt. Tabor Presbyterian Church – at the corner of SE 55th and Belmont. If you haven’t already gotten inside this space, it’s definitely worth checking out on a wet weekend morning or during the week. Open Monday – Friday: 7am to 4pm, Saturday: 9am to 4 and Sunday: 12:30 – pm with a full service coffee bar, savory and sweet pastries and a little play space for the kids. Many of the baristas are volunteers and, on Wed and Sat mornings, so is Scott. Any donations you give him for his time helping you with an upgrade question, software navigation, etc gets split 50-50 with the TaborSpace folks – a great way to support community.

COMPUTERS AND OTHER ELECTRONICS FOR THE ROOST: Working and non-working electronics are great things for curious minds in The Roost, our middle school after school program staffed by Camp Fire and run on lots of creativity.

Scott has been wiping clean older lap top computers to become homework stations for 6th, 7th and 8th graders. If you are not sure if your old lap top computer is worth keeping around for your needs, call Scott or bring it to TaborSpace during Scott’s office hours to find out. If you don’t keep it, Roost kids will have a great new homework tool.

Scott also sometimes has a short-list of those who just can’t afford a computer new enough to be useful, and is usually on the look-out for machines that can be repurposed for these folks.

Ideal machines for The Roost or the short-list are desktops or laptops, Mac or Windows, up to 4 or 5 years old.

CONTACT ASAP Mac and PC Services:To get hold of Scott Buntin for yourself or for a gift certificate for a relative or friend: (503) 255-2419, scott©asapmacpc•com, or www.asapmacpc.com.

TaborSpace is at 5441 SE Belmont, http://maps.google.com/maps?q=5441%20SE%20Belmont,portland%20or

Hopefully, this email will save you from having to spend that first hour in the orthodontist office. I think I just spent it for you, asking all the questions any parent might ask. Here are the answers I got from Dr. Rebecca Kuperstein who has been treating children and adults as the only inner southeast orthodontist at her offices just a block off of Laurelhurst Park 539 SE 39th.

What is the ideal age to make a first visit to the dentist and the orthodontist? First visits to the dentist can be made between 1 and 3 years old. A good guideline is 6 months after the first teeth start coming in. These visits are usually done just sitting in a parent’s lap, getting used to the dentist office.
First visits to an orthodontist are best made at 7 or 8 years old. There are some bite alignment issues that can but don’t always get noticed by a general dentist that should be treated at this time.

It’s not quite like saving for college but what should we all expect to spend on a child’s orthodontic treatment? Most orthodontists don’t charge for the first consultative visit so there is no savings in waiting. An early consult can let you know what to expect down the road.

I’ve been taking Claire and Emily (my 8 and 11 year old) for regular 6 month visits to Rebecca free of charge until either of them start to need treatment.

The low for treatment is $1,500 and more complex treatment can run as high as $6,000. Insurance policies typically cover 50% of a set amount that is usually around $1,000 to $2,000 so it can be a surprise cost for families with insurance that discover they need larger treatments than insurance will cover. With some planning, there are ways to get annual tax savings on the costs.

I’ll be sharing information from Parkside Orthodontics once a quarter in our emails, including information on adult orthodontics too. If there is information you would like me to include, please let me know. You can reach Rebecca directily at: www.parksideortho.com

Supporting each other and supporting local businesses helps keep our community strong. Thank you Rebecca for supporting The Roost so all the neighborhood teenagers who want and need a place to be can be welcomed at The Roost.